Talk About Needing a Break…

January 11, 2010 at 1:46 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I’m already exhausted after only doing the online dating thing for two weeks. And I didn’t even get one good date out of the whole thing…I mean usually, even if you have a bad date, you can at least get a free dinner out of the deal, right?

It’s not because I didn’t get messages from anyone…oh, boy, did I get messages! I received the loquacious “o i am so lonely” and a 15 question survey. No one warned me that I might be interviewed! I got called a sexy BBW goddess about 10 times…seriously guys, if I was a goddess do you think I would be on a dating site? I would be planning my next natural disaster or scheming how to overthrow my brother who is also my father (got to love those crazy ancients).

Three mortals, I mean men, made the first cut. I engaged them in conversation. First, I found myself conversing with Mr. Bi Polar who was cycling three or four times during each email (no offense to anyone with bi-polar…but if you’re having trouble with your meds, it’s probably not the best time for you to try to meet someone.) Then I started talking to the magician. Bet you can’t guess the trick he was able to perform! Yes, the disappearing act! Five very nice exchanges, until, I assume, he lost use of his fingers in a tragic accident…or maybe he made only his fingers disappear by mistake, and just didn’t want to resort to typing with his nose. And then, my favorite. A sweet young thing who was afraid to meet in person, but seemed completely convinced that a cyber-sex relationship was the best way to avoid an STD in these hard times.

I remind you, these are the ones who passed through my filter…granted they got clogged up and run through the disposal, but really? This is why I need a break after only two weeks of adventures. Maybe those of you who thought I was joking about the freak magnet will realized it’s not make-believe. It’s somewhere in my body, just wreaking havoc on my love-life, if you can even call it that…it’s more of a freak-life. And I don’t even get a free dinner out of it.

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