Smooth move Exlax…

February 5, 2010 at 1:03 am (Uncategorized)

One of the reasons I decided to try online dating was that I used to think the offline dating world was full of idiots. Now I know that idiocy knows no bounds. Idiocy can cross the barriers of technology much like a stomach bug runs rampant through a preschool. One sicko, and next thing you know, every throws up in their mouths a little bit.

Exhibit A. Enter a young man who sends me a message ’cause he thinks I’m pretty. Aw, that’s sweet. Too bad I didn’t realize he had the IQ of a snail. He probably thinks twigs are pretty. But I digress. We exchange a few emails, he can crack a joke or two, and I’m thinking he may be fun to hang around with. Until he tells me that we can’t meet anywhere that would require him to sit or stand for more than five minutes. He apparently has a herniated disk. But, if I want, I can bring a DVD to watch while he lies down on his futon and rests his back.

Now, let’s assume he’s being honest and he’s broken. The fact that he thinks a great date for me would be watching a crappy movie while I watch him wince in pain is just…idiotic. The fact that he can’t understand me when I suggest that maybe now just isn’t the best time for him to be looking for a gal pal suggests he is…an idiot.

Fast forward 3 months. I re-establish my profile on a couple of dating sites after I feel more ready. Guess who sends me an email, about what a pretty lady I am. Not only is he stupid, he has some serious memory issues. Guess who reminds him of the fact that he already revealed to me his inner idiot?

I guess the lesson to be learned is this: if you are going to be a Casanova of the online dating scene, keep a dang list for god’s sake!


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