Dear Cupid: You suck

February 17, 2010 at 8:05 pm (Uncategorized)

Whose idea was it to arm a chubby toddler with a bunch of arrows? I mean really. He’s still wearing a diaper, if not running around completely buck naked like some sort of wild animal. And we’re supposed to trust our hearts to this creature that hasn’t developed control over their bodily functions? No wonder we’re all in trouble when it comes to love.

I would like to ask you, Cupid, that if you plan on hitting me with one of your arrows, could you have the common decency to at least attempt to also strike someone that might work for me? ‘Cause I’m starting to think you’re some kind of freakin’ masochist, who is really just out to screw with humanity. And not in the good way.

On a positive note, I have begun to believe that there are really amazing men out there, who do match my heart…however, the fat little cherub seems to be having a field day, making sure I’m only finding ones who aren’t interested in me, for whatever reason. Oh great, raise your quiver, and hit me with one of those arrows, but make sure one doesn’t find their way to him. That’s nice.

Better yet, just quit aiming that thing at me altogether. Yeah, that’s what she said.

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