I Bet You Can’t!!!!

April 12, 2010 at 12:17 am (Uncategorized)

Today’s little missive contains a reinactment of a lovely chat session I had with a testosterone-laden douche-bag a few weeks ago…it’s definitely rated R material, so if you can’t handle a little dirty talk, you may want to go visit this blog instead.

Picture sweet, little, innocent me perusing the profiles on a dating site, also known as looking for love in all the wrong places. Suddenly, a chat window opens up. Now, mind you, I didn’t even know there was a chat feature on this site, and I would be completely happy if I had never been introduced to the feature. But there it was…a guy from Toronto asking how I was. I’m pretty far from Toronto, and I really don’t like crossing the border just to go on a date (the dates are stressful enough without getting grilled by some snot-nosed punk from Border patrol), but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to chat a bit, right?

So here is the jist of the “conversation.”

Douche-bag: hi, how are you?

Me: Good, thanks. And you?

Douche-bag: horny

Now, I should just close the chat window and walk away, but I tend to like to fuck with these people in the mental sense. Because I don’t think they get much mental activity anyhow, and I would therefore be doing them a service. Just not the service they want, and not one that I could get paid $100 an hour for. Back to the reenactment…

Me: Wow. That’s nice.

Douche-bag: are u horny?

Me: Not anymore.

Douche-bag: I bet I could make u cum

Me: nah…you can make me leave, though.

Apparently, he did not enjoy my sense of humor, as he did not respond any further. Either that, or he was honestly so dumb I just confused the hell out of him, and he was googling to see if “making a woman leave” was a new sex trick.

I guess the real question is, are there women out there who actually fall for this stuff? Because I’m not really interested in going anywhere with a douche-bag. And if I was, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have to go all the way to Toronto to find one.


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