Liar, liar.

May 10, 2010 at 1:04 am (Uncategorized)

Why is it that even the most “honest” of us are so gifted at lying to ourselves?

I’m one of those people who really can’t lie. The truth is usually written all over my face, or I blurt out the truth even when I don’t want to. It sounds like this should be a good thing, right? Usually, it is, even though it leaves me vulnerable at certain times, and looking like a fool at others.

But this is when I am dealing with other people. When dealing with myself, I seem to lie my way through the day. I am honest with everyone but myself. And the crazy thing is, I try to believe the lies I feed myself. Which is why I usually find myself getting smashed in the face with the truth when I least want it.

I think this is something that all humans do to themselves. Why do we lie to ourselves? “No, I’m not upset”, “I’m so happy with my job”, “Boy, going to the gym and sweating out 10 gallons of water sure feels good!” It seems most of these self-deceptions are ways of getting through the day, methods of preserving our fragile sanity.

But then there are the more dangerous ones; the lies to ourselves that affect others. “Yes, I love him/her.” “Of course I’m happy being just friends.” “I forgive you.” These are the lies that cause lesions on the heart. These are the lies that I am wrestling with right now, trying to figure out how to stop lying to myself.

Honesty is supposed to be the best policy. So why is it so hard to apply that policy to one’s self? Because it’s easier to believe in the lie than to live in the truth.

Sorry for the depressing blog tonight…but even I get introspective once in a while…

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