Another Reason My Brain is a Scary Place

July 30, 2010 at 6:16 pm (Uncategorized)

People that don’t remember their dreams are completely alien to me…I feel so sorry for them, and the fun they are missing. My nightly dreams are way more entertaining than the Shore, and are far more bizarre than any soap opera plot. I tell people this, and they don’t believe me for some reason.

Last night, dream scene shifted to the kitchen. I had turned on the stove, only to have forgotten that I had thrown a couple of items in there, and now they were surely going to explode and set the house on fire (so far this is nearly a factual story, so I guess it’s not too impressive…here’s where it gets weird) I open the oven door to pull out a pineapple, a carton of tomatoes, and I hear something hissing. And it’s hissing like it’s really pissed that I tried to roast it. On the bottom shelf is one of these, and it wants to eat me:

World's Most Evil Vegetable

WTF, you’re probably asking unless you watch a lot of the Food Network. This thing was hissing at me…and it’s not bearing it’s teeth in the picture, but trust me, the row of choppers on this thing would make a great white proud.

The truly weird thing is, I never had seen one of these until a friend posted this picture on his FB page…he called it a “Vagina Fruit”, which I can see could be just as scary to a man as a bloodthirsty piece of hot produce was in my dream. It’s really called a Chayote…and I will never, ever try to cook one. Ever. I had enough fun trying to hogtie the angry little effer in my dream last night.

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