That’s What He Said…

October 6, 2010 at 12:50 am (Dating is Fun) (, , , , )


Photo Courtesy of Mark Hillary


One of the most frustrating things about trying out the online dating thing is decoding “guy speak.” Because it would make things way to easy for people to be upfront and honest. Because reading between the lines is fun…if you’re Sherlock Holmes…which I’m not. But if Sherlock Holmes looked anything like Robert Downey, Jr., I’d be all over that like a fat kid loves cake. But, I digress.

After amassing much, much, way too much, experience in trying to figure out exactly what the hell guys are really trying to say, I think I may have a handle on it. And because I am such a giving person, I felt the need to share my newfound knowledge with other women who may be navigating equally muddy waters.

So here is my offering: common themes that appear in mens’ profiles, and what they *actually* mean…which are very different things apparently.

“I am a fun-loving guy, who is looking for a companion to share the good times with.”

What he means: I want to get laid.

“Family is very important to me. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my kids.”

What he means: I want to get laid, but only on the weekends I don’t have custody of my kids.

“I would like to find someone real, who wants a relationship.”

What he means: I want to get laid with a real human being…Blow-up Barbie is getting worn out.

“I am a romantic at heart–one of the last men left who knows how to treat a woman.”

What he means: I will buy you flowers, and open the door to the bedroom for you, because I want to get laid.

“I am truly a nice guy.”

What he means: Please. I want to get laid. Please.

“I am on this site just to have sex.”

What he means: He is obviously the only honest man left online, ladies. Grab. Him. Up!

Feel free to send any puzzling “guy speak” messages my way and I will decode them for you…but really, he just wants to get laid.


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